Funny Dog Owner Excuses for having a Matted Dog

Groomer Conversation Vector

When I first took a clipper in hand, I couldn’t even imagine how fascinating and surprising dog grooming would be. Every job requires communication with customers. It’s important to handle this task properly, especially when you see a solidly matted dog that has not been taken care of properly. Dog groomers will understand that hearing the same cover story for years is boring. Basically, I was constantly irritated and confused. In a while all these common apologies and alibies became amusing. Well, here are common sayings you will definitely hear if you are a dog groomer.

1I brought this dog for my kid and she was supposed to do the brushing

Yeah… She was…

2We were on holiday for a week. I guess granny (or friend, or hotel worker, or neighbor…) couldn’t brush the dog well.

3My dog loves to stick his head out of the car, so that causes ear matting, can’t you see?

Matted poodle

4I brush my dog every day with a “FURminator”

– says the owner of a Maltese or a poodle.

5She hates brushing and bites me all the time, so maybe you do it?

– Maybe I should, yup.

6She tumbled over in our bed this morning so…

7We didn’t brush her for three days, no idea how this happened!

Matted Cocker Spaniel

8I comb the dog with my fingers while I bathe him.

– good for you!

9I regularly brush my dog, but he still has matted parts, here, there, around here and over there too and maybe over here too.

Extremly Matted Maltese

10It will take 15 minutes max to brush this out, come on.

11I use my old brush you think it is not enough?

The only question that bothers me is why so many grown-up people tell me such an obvious fiction. I can feel the pain of every teacher who has ever been fooled with “dog and homework” story. I assume, after exposing the matted and messy dog, most people feel guilty and uptight, or maybe this is the first excuse that comes to their mind.


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